holidays will soon be here, after pw of cos. OP's driving me crazy. i just cant stand still infront of a whole bunch of people (yes, i cant stop fidgeting! tell me what to do!!) and give a presentation that concerns my future. you can make me act like a clown infront of my friends, but not do something so serious infront of an audience. and i cant help lookng at the cue cards.sigh.

it's time for revision.time to brush up my skills.most importantly, it's time to catch up with my friends~but my mum's quite keen on getting me tuition for almost everything. sigh.going beijing with ajco in one month's time too.

btw, i believe some people should be mugging 24/7 instead of reading blogs HAR. haha. jiayou to all seniors taking As and all juniors taking Os :)

havent been here for a long time. why? cos of freaking PW. ok, PW is fun. =x so, did i get promoted? yes, i did. sad to say, i merely scraped thru promotion. i am one of the few in my class to pull the class down in any kind of ranking system. my class really did pretty well this time. well, except for me. but at least my whole class managed to promote together. at least i didnt become the "culprit". i hope my decision of dropping physics is correct. i don't have any other choice, do i? freakkk.anyway, thanks all peeps for all your concern! :)

ok and now, bout co. why? why don't i have the motivation to go for co pracs like i do back in rv? why do i have to ponder whether to skip practices now and then? lacking commitment is one thing, not feeling belonged is another. back in rv, i used to put away the thought of skipping pracs, even at the worst moments. cos i was in com, and i felt i had a need to be responsible and set a good eg for others. in anyway, it was kind of different then. cos i really enjoy every moment of practices. but now, i really don't have the kinda anticipation for pracs. now that i am not in com, i feel like being a "normal" person, being able to skip pracs without any form of responsibility or committment holding me back. i do feel guilty, but not so much anymore. this feeling sarks. *sigh* and my skills..my standard..arghhh.and now that pracs are changed from fridays to saturdays, i dislike going for pracs even more.talk about a 5-day work week. where's ours?

back to pw.pw rox.ha ha ha.

this is it.
i am left alone.
left alone to think if i can get promoted.
i don't know how things can turn out this way.45 is an E.44.4 is an O.35 is an O.34.4 is a F.2 Es and 2 Fs will get you promoted.4 Os wouldnt.it's like desperately fighting between life and death.very very scary.why is it that when i don't study and when i do, i get the same grades? the same failing grades. like what my friend honestly told me, i am losing focus in every subject.every subject is as bad as the other.
i am talking like how i am like year.the same thing.i keep giving myself excuses.i am immuned.i am not a science person.i don't have the will to score well cos i never did in the past.i made the worst decision in my life.i need a more conducive environment.i need more motivational friends.i need this, and that.i am falling, but i am not doing anything.did i really put in effort for promos?
the downfall of Liane started in sec 3.and it's at it's peak now.the worst downfall ever.if i really get promoted, what do i do? what WILL i do? i need to do something.but i dunno where to start.and HOW to start.
i feel so hopeless.

all hopes are da s h e d--

finally!! finally the new layout's done.it took me quite sometime though.for many people, it might be very easy to just transfer info from their previous templates over to their new ones.but unfortunately, for a html idiot like me, it sure took a long time.*shakes head* yupps, but i also changed some stuff here and there.and all because i wanted to change a 'random' link to a 'profile' link, i missed out on a code and the button just wouldnt work.*poof*took a long time to find out what happened.alas~ oh and i contemplated whether i shld add in 'science' for my dislikes.ok la, shall change it to physics.ahaha.

okie, hmm.obviously, promos are officially over for me.but of course i am not having a very enjoyable time.there are still worries 'bout results la. *sigh* i'm just keeping my fingers crossed now, to get promoted.hmm, next week will be a series of pw sessions and character development programme activities.wed will be jiahan and jiahui's birthdays.and the week after next, the results will all be coming back.so for the time being, i shall make my life the fullest by enjoying myself.hopefully, i'll be able to.

haha, sermon today seemed to be directly targetted at me.i have to agree with what the pastor said about.something like when someone is not on fire for God, he/she doesnt like to be with God's people who are on fire for Him.maybe that's why i am straying away from youth service? i think.cos the main service wouldnt make me pray in pairs, lift up my hands or kneel down before Him right infront of everyone.then again, it's not the actions that God wants to see.it's our hearts.but if i am really on fire for God, those actions would then be spontaneous and not done when asked to.so then, i wouldnt feel awkward when others are showing their love for God cos i am too, showing my love.*sigh* in conclusion, i am not on fire for God.haix~ sometimes, i'm really tired about all these rollar coaster rides i'm having with Him.my heart!! where is it??

on a brighter note, i watched ge2 dou4 just now~ haha, xiezhi is forever so shuai.and he doesnt look like a frog ok! but if he does, i still think he's shuai.so, i'll like frogs.actually i feel that when i am watching tv programmes, i feel the most shuang.as in, only then i am truly enjoying myself.i don't really like to go out.sometimes still have to see people's lian3 se4.yupps.hmm, i am thinking how to spend tmr since i don't have a paper.have to get some people's presents though.
yupps, till then!